(due to laziness, this page hasn't been updated for a fair while)

Well... I wonder who is really interested in this page since it contains no photo or anything that may relate to you, and so, perhaps you may like to press 'back' now to go back to the previous page...

This page is used fully for my personal purpose. This is just a place for me to express some of my feelings/thoughts so that I may feel a bit more released. It may be very boring and so I don't really expect you to read them all.

This page is divided into two sections: the serious side and the not-so-serious side. The serious side is something that I strongly believe in or something to do with relationship/love while the not-so-serious side is what I think of myself, some passing thoughts and so on...

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Some Serious Thoughts

Arguments
This happened a while ago. One night I was walking in a quiet park and then I saw a guy and a girl having an argument. Apparently they looked like a pair and it seemed that they were having a very serious argument that could lead them to break-up... well... that's really none of my business. But I learnt the way how 2 people should argue off them...
The guy was sitting on the stairs while the girl was standing up and she was really annoyed about something. I think she was crying. Anyway, as I saw that, it seemed to me that the guy just couldn't care less about his girlfriend and what she was saying cos he was sitting... and I guess that might have indirectly angered the girl even more... Anyway, I learnt that when 2 people argue, (it doesn't matter whether they are guys or girls.) both of them should sit down instead of standing up cos standing up really builds up the tension between them. I believe when I have a girlfriend later on in my life (hopefully it won't be tooooooo long from now), I will not make the same mistake as the pair did. (2/7/99)

Betrayal
I think I've been betrayed at the moment when I'm typing this up. I'm still not sure whether my thoughts are right or not though... but I am just feeling real bad at the moment... Perhaps that's because I've never been betrayed before by any close friend... especially one that has helped and supported me a lot... Oh well... I just hope that my thinking is wrong... but at the moment, I've lost all my trust and faith in him... and I do mean all... he may actually turn out to be someone that I'll dislike... but of coz, I hope not... =(  (26/9/99)

I got things all sorted out... Luckily, I was wrong... and so nothing changes, in fact, I think that further deepens the trust that I have on this friend. =) (30/9/99)

Emotions
I dunno why, but my emotion seems to be easily affected by my surrounding. I cry/sob so often during sad/emotional movie scenes or television series... or even sometimes when I'm reading a good book (which I rarely do). Unlike the general belief that guys should control their emotions and avoiding sobbing at the cinema, I always believe that I should not hide my emotions. Perhpas that's because I believe that it's just a normal thing for anyone to cry (no matter a guy or a girl) for something sad... why should one feel ashamed of it? (8/12/99)

Friendship
I believe one of the challenges in my life is related to friendship. I challenge myself to expand my circle of friends every day while maintaining, and possibly improving, the friendship with my mates. To me, expanding my circle of friends seem to be not such a difficult task. Afterall, I believe I am a nice and happy guy with an easygoing and caring character and this enables me to make new friends easier. However, as the circle of friends expands, I find it not easy to maintain every single friendship. To maintain a friendship in a good state, I need to keep in touch with them often and let them know that I will still be there when they need support, encouragement and comfort. And as the number of friends grows, it's sometime really hard for me to think about every single friend of mine.
I like to help people out when they are feeling low because I always find it the best way to improve our friendship as this is a way that you can show that person that you do care about him/her. But often, you need to work hard to get the opportunity to improve the friendship because people don't often just come to you to ask for your support when you are not that close to him/her. First of all, attention is often needed to pay to the tiniest thing that your friends do and pick up any unusual behaviour. When you do pick up any unusual behaviour of your friend, then it will be the chance for you to improve your friendship. Be patient and ask what may have gone wrong. Be supportive and let him/her be optimistic. Show him/her your own emotion and do give advices when appropriate. Nevertheless, I believe if you lack the element of trust in your friendship, the improvement of friendship will not be much, and so one should always try to show others that you are trustworthy. (1/8/99)

Going Out and Breaking Up
Yesterday night (actually it was early this morning) after I went offline and before I switched off the computer and while I had my toothbrush in my mouth trying to brush my teeth, I starred at my desktop wallpaper. (I guess most of you don't know what my desktop look like so I'll tell you now. Basically, I have a background colour of blue and then I put an enlarged scanned photo on it and that's it... all the toolbars and icons are all hidden. So basically the only thing I can see on my computer screen if no program is loaded is only a photo which I change constantly.) My wallpaper then was a photo taken before I left HK at St. Paul's with friends (It will be on my homepage soon.) Looking at the people in it, I suddenly realised that so many of them are going out already... There are 9 girls in the photo and out of them, 7 of them are or have experience in going out before. And out of the 5 guys, one of them is going out. Then I was thinking, am I a bit behind? Hmm... I guess not... at least I still don't see the need of going out yet... (Just a passing thought... I didn't realise how pretty some of the girls that I have been friends with for 3 years were until now.) (25/9/99)

Whenever I think of the topic 'going out' these days, I will automatically link it with 'breaking up'. Sounds like pretty sad, eh? But then I guess nowadays, many of the relationship end up with 'failure'. I used to and I still have this dream. I dream that the first girl I date will be the only one I will have to date with in my whole life, and in other words, I don't want to go through the process of breaking up. However, from what's happening around me, it seems that reality is telling me my dream is unlikely to come true. Sigh... (29/1/00)

I was once chatting with a friend online about a topic... a topic that keeps me pondering. When comparing relationship that ends up with breaking up, would it be better if the relationship was a long one or a short one? A long one would mean the two people might have lots of enjoyable and memorable moment together, which also means that the pain they suffer when it's more painful when they break up. A short one, on the other hand, may seem to others that it is a waste of time becuase the two people aren't really made for each other right from the start. However, the breaking up process is less painful. I somehow believe that the people breaking up in a short relationship is smarter than the ones involved in the long one... because they realise that there's a problem early enough so that the feeling towards each other won't be too deep. Hmm... wonder what others think on this topic. (29/1/00)

Returning from the trip to Melbourne, I suddenly have a really strong sense that I'm lacking something - a girlfriend. Well, I still think I'm not up to the stage to be able to handle such relationship (both financially and academically), but seeing how more than 50% of the people who went to the trip with me had their another half with them and being able to have so much fun, I just think maybe it's time for me to start looking for one... which at the moment, my eyes aren't set on anyone yet. (10/07/00)

Hehe... days after I wrote on this session, I realised that my thought was wrong... what I needed was actually someone to talk with more often during the trip rather than a girlfriend... (24/06/00)

Languages
When I have my kids one day, which language should I teach him/her first? Cantonese or english? Since I intend to have a cantonese-speaking wife, so cantonese is probably the language I'll use when I have my own family... and so logically I should teach cantonese to my kids... but then if I keep on staying in Australia, then my kids should learn how to speak english as well since that's the language used most often. But the problem is if the kid is taught both languages at the same time, unless he/she's really really smart, we may confuse him/her and he/she ends up not being able to speak cantonese nor english well... (25/12/99)

Lies
If you don't want to be friends with me anymore, I can teach you how. Just simply lie to me and then let me somehow find out that you lied. It doesn't matter whether the lie is something important or not, it just works... and by the way, it doesn't require you much effort to let me know that you lied cos I have the ability to seek out the truth... I believe if you are a close friend of mine and you still lie to me about something (no matter how insignificant it is), then you just don't fit my definintion of close friend anymore and will be downgraded automatically... Yeah... I used to have something like grades for friends... but well... I don't use it anymore. (6/7/99)

Marriage
Recently, I received a wedding invitation from a friend of mine who lives in HK. (For those who are from St. Paul's, I'm talking about Miss Keung) I was feeling very excited for her. I didn't know why, but I was just very excited... it's like as if I'm the one who's getting married. Funny, eh?
Anyway, then I was thinking, "Hmm... how many years should 2 people go out before they get marry?" Well... at this stage, I don't have the answer. However, I guess in about 6 years time, I'll start to receive more and more wedding invitations, and hopefully, one of them will be you!! and maybe then, I can ask for your opinion... =) (2/7/99)

Parties
I've decided not to have a party this holiday. I just don't feel like it anymore. As many of you may know, I used to like hosting parties a lot, and whenever I hold a party, it is usually a pretty crowded one. I love hosting parties especially when I can see my friends are actually having fun together. I really like that... but right now, my mind has changed a bit... I don't like hosting parties anymore... I feel like I've been used or something. Sometimes, people asked  me to host a party and so I invited people to come over, but in return, I was very often not invited to lots of other activities that some other people held... (to be honest, I'm sobbing as I type this up, my tears are dropping and that's because I'm writing this from the bottom of my heart) I feel like I'm nobody. Someone that's dumb and somebody that no one cares and remembers... Even though I know that's not true but that's how I feel at times. Oh well... (29/6/99)

Sister
My sister has just woke up and the first thing she did is to ask me to look at her hair. Her hair looked funny... as if it just had an explosion. Hehe. =) I'm really happy about the bonding between my sister and me. We are so close to each other. Like kids, we still hold hands when we go out (and that's why she was mistaken once by Amanda that she was my girlfriend). Even though she's younger than I am, when I'm at home, I seem to be the one who's mentally younger (in other word, immature). She takes the role as a person her age while I take the role of a 2-year-old kid or a pet or some cartoon character that doesn't need to think much. She talks to me like how she would do to a baby, dunno why, but I think I like it this way. I have seen many other familes, but I haven't seen many of those families having such strong bonding between the siblings, and so I'm really happy about the way how things turn out between my sister and me. However, relationship between my brother and me is not as good as that between my sister and me. See Brother for detail. (25/9/99)

Some not so Serious thoughts

Birthday
I can't remember it was since when that I've started the idea of passing birthday card around so that lots of people can sign it before giving it to the birthday boy/girl. Even though it's costs me quite a bit of time and money, I guess I like this 'job' as it brings happiness to the birthday boy/girl as that's what I have always liked to do. I suppose a card with lots of people written on it will make one feels that lots of people care about him/her and I suppose that is quite a heart-warming thing to receive. =) (6/7/99)

My 19th Birthday is coming up soon... dunno what I'm going to receive this year... I estimated I would have spent around A$250 on just cards, stamps and letter paper by the end of this year. Perhaps that's because I know too many people and that's why I need to send out lots of birthday and Christmas cards. A$250 on cards sounds like a lot, eh? Well... it is... (14/10/99)

Dominance
Imagine if female's the dominant gender in this world, how interesting could it get? Girls will be the ones asking guys out. Guys don't have to worry about asking girls out anymore (which means a lot less stress), and I, as a guy, can just sit there and see how popular I really am among girls... hehe... (01/03/02)

Eating
If you know me in real life, then you should know that I eat a lot and a lot... Those from St. Paul's may remember how much I could eat during lunch break: 3 lunch boxes or 4 cup noodles or 7 hot dogs... and if I got to go to Maccas, I could finish all the list below all by myself in less than 45 mins: 2 large MacChicken meal, 1 large FishFillet Burger meal, 3 apple pies, 2 sundaes... Hmm... I think that's about it... (2/7/99)

E-Greetings
I think at times I'm actually a very selfish and hard to satisify person. During birthday or Christmas, whenever I receive an e-greeting, my response is usually not extremely delighted about it... in fact, I feel disappointed at times because I know one extra e-greeting would mean one less real greeting through snail mail which I love to receive. Sometime I just hate the existence of net because without it, I would probably be able to receive my cards... but then I guess I should have been happy... since I should be considerate... At least an e-card is better than receiving nothing... oh well... (24/12/99)

Grass
This one is a pretty stupid thought of mine... I was walking in a park one day and I thought, "Hey, I think I didn't use to have a chance to walk on grass when I was in HK... there's just no grass around the place, but here in Sydney, grass is just everywhere..." This is really stupid... but well... (6/7/99)

HK Pop Music
I don't know why, when I was in HK. I had no interest in any of the HK pop singers at all. Perhaps back then, I was still too much of a classical person or maybe there was just too much homework then for me to care about this kinda unimportant stuffs. Surprisingly, a year after arriving in Sydney, my sister started to buy all these CDs and VCDs and kept on playing them. My first thought of them was, "Wow... some of the songs are fairly nice... but the singing... hmm... crap..." But as time went on, I got used to listening to this kinda music, and then I accepted it... I actually like them now... I now spend more time listening to HK pop rather than classical stuffs. I still like classical music though. (25/9/99)

Honkies
Since I arrived in Sydney, I was very proud of being a Honkie. It was because I believed that they all work hard and have nice manner... but since uni started for me, my mind has changed. I didn't realise that there are so many honkies who are like a bunch of bludgers, who are lazy, who smoke, who swear all the time, and who use money as if it is some scrap paper cos their parents are rich... They really ruined the image of the way I used to believe what honkies are... sigh... Luckily, most of the Honkie friends I've met in uni are really really nice people. =) (2/7/99)

Innocence
Since university started, I started to lose my innocence. I guess it's pretty hard to stay innocence if there are so many people around you trying to corrupt my mind for fun... sigh... Fortunately, the 'damage' done to me so far is not severe... (25/9/99)

Letters
I love letter-writing as I believe this is the most personal form of communication... For the receiver, to be able to read something that's hand written just makes you feel that the letter is so personal... and in a way, it tells you that, "This letter is only for you." Another great thing about letter-writing is that you can refer back to one particular letter and read it as many times as you like whenever you feel like it during your private time. Letters store different kinds of messages, for examples: words, pictures, photos... and stamps and stickers. I often re-read some of my letters again and again as this helps me refreshing my memory... and it's always fun to recall something that happened a while ago... (8/12/99)

Luck
I consider myself as a really lucky person. I was born in a better than average family in HK. My flat in HK was larger than most others, and it was in a high class suburb. I had every opportunity to try out different activities like piano, singing, swimming, martial arts, accunputure, photography, making telescope, learning things about astronomy and constellation, going hiking and camping as well as to outward bound. All the schools I got into are simply the top... St. Paul's, James Ruse and Epping Boys', and from there, I made lots of friends which are caring and thoughtful. I guess I just can't ask for more... (25/9/99)

Net-Friends
I'm always pondering about this: Is it ordinary for a guy to only have girls as his net-friends? How come guys usually don't give me a good and memorable first impression in our first chat? Is there something wrong with me? Or is it just beacuse there's a mismatch in characters? Or is it true that most guys usually reply with short messages which is often way too hard to reply back? (8/12/99)

Ratings
I dunno if it's a common thing or not... some guys usually like to rate girls based on their apperarnce while girls like to rate guys. It's often on a scale from 1-10. Well, strictly speaking, I haven't rated anyone in this way before, but I did used to have 'friendship rating'. 1 is the best grade while 5 is the worst... well... I don't use this rating anymore. I guess if I have to rate myself out of 10 in various charcters, then here would be my ratings: apperarance 5 (just average), loyalty 9.5 (very loyal), ability to do housework 2 (very poor, hardly do any housework), intelligence 7, honesty 8, area of interest 8 (I do have lots of different kinda interests), kindness 9 (I think I'm a fairly nice guy...) organising skills 8.5, tidiness 5, musical talent 7.5... Hmm... can't think of anymore ratings at the moment... perhaps I'll add some more later. (25/12/99)

Singing
I love singing becaues this is one thing that I can do fairly well. When I was in HK, I don't sing all that much except when I was in the choir. I used to a first tenor (has the highest range) then I dropped to a second tenor (range not as high as first tenor) because my singing range felled as I grew. I was a bit disappointed then since being a first tenor is really honourable. As I came to Sydney, things were different. Here, not many people are really interested in choir, and so when I was studying in Epping Boys' High School (the first school I went to in Sydney), I was considered to be talented in singing. This really stirred up my incentive to learn singing. I started to look for good singing teacher. And at the Orientation day of Ruse, I met the singing teacher there, Mr. Best, and he introduced me to Mr. Hines (my singing teacher now). Mr. Hines is a professor in university and so his qualification is very impressive. Nevertheless, I had to be audited before Mr. Hines accepted me to be his student, and luckily I was accepted. I have been learning singing for more than 2 and a half year by now, and I can really feel that my voice is more mature and deeper now... it is so much better than what my voice was like 2 years ago. I'm satisfied with my singing range now because not many people around me is a baritone-tenor/tenor around me and I'm proud of it. (6/7/99)

Smoking
I really hate people who smoke, especially those who don't give a damn about all the others around him/her. I don't care how much you enjoy your cigarette, but can you just keep it to yourself and stop breathing out all the smoke in a 'you think is stylish but I don't think so' way... I really hate it!!! but well... I guess most of the people who read this page are not smokers, but if you are, then I hope you will be able to quit it soon... real soon... (2/7/99)

Swearing
I really don't get why people swear so much all the time. Well... swearing once in a while is acceptable cos it's believed that it can release stress... but I simply don't get those who can swear at 0.1Hz. Did they learn any vocabulary which they can say when they were young? To me, I'll just treated them as dummies... like those who go up to you in the city and ask for some money... They are sick!!! (2/7/99)

Year 2000
I'm now only a little bit more than a week away from the new millennium. Lots of celebration for this important day have been planned... I'm just wondering what kinda celebrations were there 1000 years ago at the end of year 999. (24/12/99)

I believe the first thing I learnt as I entered the year 2000 is that Sydney is such a beautiful city!! I have never realised until the moment when the firework over the harbour brightened up the whole sky as well as the harbour bridge and the Opera House. That was such a marvellous moment in Sydney!! (29/1/00)
 

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